The Downside of Tobago Weddings
Must you be so flexible?
May
6, 2002: Ingrid is our Wedding Planner, of sorts;
she's done two or three in the last couple of weeks. I'm sure it's
formulaic to her after a while, but the formula's exceedingly simple
to understand:
"Whatever you want, it'll be fine".
Ingrid speaks with a lovely Caribbean lilt, she's both laid-back and reassuring — but it's clear the onus is on us to figure out just how to do this ceremony. She's not going to set any boundaries - because Tobago doesn't seem to have many. What's a good time for it? "Well, a lot of dem are aroun four in di afternoon". "Well, we were thinking about the morning". "Oh, dats fine too". Any problem with the Minister's schedule? No, whenever you want, it's fine". Everything is fine. Could you just give us a damn rule or two?
"I'm quite sorry, but you can't be married while standin' on jus one foot; we're quite strict about that here!".
I yearn for something like this — some restriction that make me feel that we're obeying some mandate — one in place for our own good. Maybe it'd assuage the slight guilt I feel at depriving friends and relatives of a "proper" ceremony. It seems to us that weddings in the American style are needlessly complicated: a plethora of choices which cause stress to everyone, and potentially pleases no one. I (Scott) think this is the number one reason for our "running off" to Tobago (if you can call it running off - we've been working on the few details for a couple of months now).
The biggest hurdle to getting married here, (if you can call it that) is that you need to be resident in the country for 75 hours before you get hitched, and the first day doesn't count. Doing the math, that means Wednesday at earliest for us: we arrived Saturday evening. But they're willing to issue the "Special Marriage Permit" a little in advance - as long as the ceremony's within the legislated limits. And we're not sure that's completely sacrosanct either. Tomorrow (Tuesday 5/7) we'll rent a car and drive to the local equivalent of Town Hall, fetch our license, and go home and fret — or whatever it is one does the day before one's wedding.