Feb 16, 2002: Save for those who've been consumed by their own cynicism, I think that we each hope for and expect the best in others (and in turn, ourselves — or is it the other way around). And I think that feeling is more or less universal. So I really hate getting taken! I got scammed today; it was only a little teeny scam. Rather than say "well, I should have seen it coming", I'll say "well, my aspirations for my fellow man make it difficult to believe people behave this way". The reality is probably somewhere in between.
I went walking this morning, trying some more new roads in the northwest of the city; these were more interesting than yesterday's or the prior day's. On the final street to my pending breakfast (and I was hungry, it was 11am, and all I'd had in the morning was a banana and I'd walked for close to an hour already). This older guy (oops, to think about it he was probably my age) was just standing on the sidewalk along the way. Understand: Thai's never "just stand on the sidewalk". They might be eating, they might be crouching out of the sun (or in the sun for that matter) — but they're no more likely to be just hanging in the middle of a sidewalk than you or me. That should have been the first sign.
The guy has a kind of country bumpkin look about him, but he speaks remarkably good English. And it's well beyond Tourist English, where they learn the key phrases and after that "mai khaw jai" (not understand). He speaks better than my Teacher, better than most of the Thai people I've worked with over the years. He chats me up, and we do a mixture of Thai and English. It's helpful for me, in order to learn — and I'm pretty isolated here, even at Heifer I have few people to speak with and fewer opportunities. So it feels good. I want to believe he's just a nice guy, even if he's just a nice guy trying to improve his English. Says he's from a village to the south (I never heard of it) and studied English when in school. OK. Along the way he asks me how long I've been in Thailand, how many times visiting. This should have been a red flag. The question really means "Are you gullible? Will you have been taken to the cleaners before, or is this my chance?"
This banter goes on for a few minutes, then as my stomach growls I am reminded (and tell this guy) that I need to get breakfast. That when the "bite" happens. "My friend, I have to ask you something". Bang. I realize what's going on. His first ploy is "I don't have any money to get back to my village". Now, I'm taking a bus for 3.5 hours tomorrow, and it's costing 60 baht. I say to this guy "that should cost about 10 baht, right?" Oops, I'm on to him. Too bad. He switches to guilt-mode: "Khun pen jai dii" [or words to this effect] he says ("you are good heart"). "How about you give me 100 baht?". This isn't teaching a man to fish, this is feeding him for a proverbial lifetime. You could literally eat for a week on that. Yeah, it's true, a hundred baht is nothing to a "rich farang". But it's not the point. The guy built up a relationship with me, not because he was jai dii but because he wanted my money. What a dick.
The conversation's about to end. "Ah, khob phom!", ("I get it") I tell him. I start to walk away. He follows me down the street. I finally gave him my pocket change (about 15 baht) to get rid of him. He looks dejected. Insulted. Sad puppy face. You'll get over it.
All right a happier story. Got breakfast. Just the same as last weekend. Delicious. Good coffee, great service; they'll speak Thai with me if I can get it even vaguely right, and since it's in context (at a restaurant, they're not expecting your bad Thai to be about the whether capital punishment is a good thing or not; you're probably asking about food). Then I attend to some travel errands: I have to get an airline ticket to Bangkok and a train ticket back. Done. Try to find some shirts that fit Westerners. OK the day isn't going to be a complete success. I can find shirts that fit. The size is either called "XL", or "F" (farang). I just can't bring myself to pay 200baht for them. (That's $4, for a shirt that you would pay $25 for in the US).
In
Thailand, you get a head massage along with your shampoo. You might
call this "special service", but "special service" is quite different
in Thailand, you don't get it (to my knowledge) without taking your
clothes off (during a massage). For the record, Thai massage (the ancient,
therapeutic kind) does not involve undressing, at least to this level.
I digress. I got a shampoo, I don't know if I've ever had a shampoo "out". My hair, my scalp, will never be this clean again. I lost count of the number of washings; I think it was four. Each one punctuated with sideburn scratching, neck rubbing and various other manipulations of my scalp. Forgive the crude pun, but this woman really gave good head. Ever fall asleep during a shampooing?
The haircut itself was... a haircut. Pretty much the same as you'd get in the west. I am my handsome self again, the whole shootin' match of massage, shampoo, cut and blow-dry was 100 baht. Just over two bucks. That plus the scam comes to about "9 bits".
*By the way, for the young and computer literate, "9 bits" is not a byte without parity plus "start and stop bits" — it's 9 x 25 cents.