You Probably Don

You Probably Don't Know Squat

Part of a highly intellectual series on life in the developing world. Or not.

This, friends, is a sight (site?) you will probably never see. It's a squat toilet, and that name pretty much sums it up. Long before Brit Thomas Crapper invented the "modern" toilet, this baby (in white, on the floor) had been around for quite a while. American Standard ("famous" US toilet manufacturer) among others makes squat toilets along with the Crappers we call our own.

Somebody's written a book about toilet habits around the world; I'm sure it's a captivating read. It's called something like "Going, Around the World". But don't put it on my Christmas list just yet, maybe the Library has it. If not, perhaps you could donate your copy?

Now that your curiosity about this squat (in the height sense) privy has been piqued, here are some instructions in case you should find yourself "in need" and this is what you're faced with. Here's your instruction manual. Sorry, no [other] photos. Actually I'm not at all sorry about that.

First, you will notice that there is no seat. That, and the name "squat toilet" should both be strong operational clues. Don't try to sit down; you'll regret it.

Second, you may see slippers outside the outbuilding (or inbuilding, as the case may be). These are for the barefoot.

Men will have little trouble peeing with these; try to aim well. You may wish to know that Buddhist Monks (at least, in Thailand) are forbidden to pee standing up. This seems tragic. Figure out how you're going to clean up after you "go". There may be a spray hose like on a kitchen sink. There probably won't be toilet paper unless you brought it yourself. Hint! Notice there are ridges on the sides of the toilet. Stand, knees slightly bent, with your butt over the main "works" of the thing. Otherwise: You'll need to get your clothing out of harm's way. Down to your ankles. Squat. Watch your balance! Go. Clean yourself. As a cultural sidebar, this is why some cultures only eat, or give gifts with the right hand; the left is reserved for other matters... you remembered the toilet paper, right? Pull up your pants and step off

What, no flush handle? Of course not. It's a hole in the ground

You'll find a big ladle (or sometimes just a water house). In the picture, it's sitting in the big concrete tub to the left of the toilet. The same tub used for the water to bathe and everything else water-related other than drinking. (you bathe by soaping up outside the tub then pouring water over yourself using the ladle). Anyway, use it to flush the waste down the toilet, and rinse you were standing. Don't worry about getting the floor wet: another thing you don't see in the west are "wet bathrooms". What this means is basically everything drains down into a drain under the floor, and there's a drain in the floor. So getting the bathroom floor wet isn't a problem — it's a design feature.

So now you know.