Let's Play, Spot the Tourist!

A stereotypical analysis of people encountered on the road.

We have proof! Photos to Follow.

When you travel a lot, you start seeing patterns in people's appearance and behavior, that (at least for Scott) lead you to speculate where they're from. If you read Viet Life, you know we know the risk of our coming to hasty conclusions — but... it's fun!

How the locals size us (Tourists) up:

OK, let's look at a few of the world's travelers. Remember, these are stereotypes, not meant to offend... 

"Would that we could see us, as others see us" — Unknown

The French

Generally well dressed, they just "look European". It's hard to describe, exactly.

French seem the most likely to wear a sweater draped "just so" over their shoulders. It's more like they're storing it than wearing it...

They smoke anywhere they can. I find French cigarettes unusually malodorous.

The Germans

The first sign is steely glasses. Metal rims. Teutonic.

They're overweight.

Unlike fat Americans, they insist on donning skimpy Speedos at the pool, despite their amble figures.

They smoke without consideration of others around them.

They bring cell phones to the pool.

I thought Americans were poor travelers, due to our relative inexperience outside the North American continent. But I have found Germans to be the most rude of all tourists, showing little regard for local customs or temperments. Don't get me wrong, some of the nicest people I know are Germans... but maybe their large amounts of time spent on holidays each year, makes them forget that they're guests in others' lands? 

The Italians

Arguably the best dressed of all Tourists — or perhaps of anyone, anywhere.

Their language is especially expressive, and they gesticulate wildly when they talk.

Once you've deduced (but clothing) that a group of visitors is European — then the hands, and relative spiffy-ness of how they dress, will ID the Italians.

The Japanese

Tend to herd, for a few  reasons: English proficiency isn't good, they're somewhat xenophobic, and they're just "communal" people. They enjoy the shared experience.

They all have cameras, and take turn taking pictures of one another at strategic spots. Sometimes the photo seems more important than the attraction.

Women wear round hats reminiscent of fishing hats but higher. Tanned skin is not generally considered attractive

Men, if "hatted" wear baseball caps

Teenage girls often sport kawaii (cutesy) things on their backpacks, like little stuffed animals, hearts, photos

T-shirts sporting bizarre English phrases, like "Mickey is the one mouse"

They're chronically thin and smoke like fiends

If you see someone on the phone (with nobody else around) and they're bowing... guaranteed they're Japanese

The Americans (and Canadians)

Colorful clothing and seldom dressed alike

The largest proportion of overweight Tourists

Seem comfortable wherever they are: "as a matter of fact, we do own the place". Cocksure. 

Canadians are often seen (or at least differentiated by) Canadian maple leafs, on their backpacks or clothes, or maple leaf pins on their shirts.

The Koreans

Often sport clothing or accessories (travel bags) with Hangul writing on them. Nobody else uses this alphabet

Smoke a fair amount

Usually stay together

I have nothing to prove this, but I think Koreans have distinctly flatter foreheads than other Asians.

The Taiwanese, and Mainland Chinese

Taiwanese sport an odd mix of clothes, like they weren't sure whether they were going to play golf, or go to the office. Of course, they dress the same way then the do play golf, and do go to the office.

They look like mainland Chinese — but noticeably  more affluent.    

They're more independent than mainlanders or Japanese; more speak more English.

Mainland Chinese aren't usually dressed very smartly; and (again due to poor language skills) they tend to stay together.

They're likely to all have tour badges on.  

Assuming you found this interesting enough to read this far (or maybe you're just really bored: Learn what They call Us. A none-too-comprehensive guide to the rude (and not so rude) names for foreigners around the world.

Flags use above, by Herman... .